When I feel I need to try harder......

This is not food, I have to say it first. Probably I should explain about my whole career when I have a chance. For today, I just explain something I recall once in a while.

I do appreciate when people call me or my company remembering me. The other day, I was sort of offered some job.... the reason I am saying " sort of " was because he was hinting. So, I do not have to take it seriously, but maybe he did. Well, as you all know that I have my own company, at the moment, I cannot work for some company full time and/ or as employee. Probably his company is expanding. I appreciated that he remembered me and said " If something happened and if I do have to close my company.... in that case, I might ask you to help me . " ( Hope this was OK and not rude. ) Seriously, you never know what is going to happen in this unpredictable world.

Fortunately, my company survived this economic crisis and I am trying to strengthen my company. ( Not to make bigger , but to make it more stable. )

OK, I should get to the point. I have declined several job offers after I decided to go independent. Why do I choose this more difficult and challenging way rather than working for companies. Well, one of the reasons is probably my DNA since my grandfather was also an entrepreneur. Another reason.... when I think another reason, this memory comes back to me.

During United Airline days ( I used to be in flight interpreter/ marketer , not a flight attendant.) , Gulf War took place. Pacific flights were always so light.... very few passengers.

Say, if the capacity of the plane is 400 , the actual load was less than 80 passengers average.

Also, constantly we received security alert. It was possible that I might have died being targeted from terrorists. Whenever I left for flights, I tried to clean my apartment room and leave it clean and organized.. The reason ? I thought there is a possibility that " I might get killed on the next flight." Probably, after 911, you wouldn't deny it. I didn't get killed, so I felt like " God is saying to me that I should still live and do something."

Since then, I decided to do whatever I feel I should do and have been trying " do things " and avoid regretting something " without doing". And that is why I try challenging things. I think.
There is another story similar to this, but it is going to be too long, so next time. Good night.


Jan said...

Hi Watanabe san,

That was an interesting read. I understand where you're coming from and absolutely agree with your sentiment. But what if you don't know what it is that you want to do? As in, you want to do something with yourself so as not to regret, but you don't know what it is you want to do?

Yasuko Watanabe said...

Thank you for the comment. I am implementing my plans one at a time. It is taking time, but I am happy to work on these.

Probably other people do not see it and that is fine.

Do I know you ? People tend to make judgements without knowing the person really.

I have once told this story to somebody and was told it was ”living for the moment". It is shallow way of taking this and superficial perspectives.

Jan said...

I'm not sure if I got this right but I think you might have misunderstood that I was criticising what you're doing.

Actually I'm not at all. In fact, I admire that you are able to find something you want to do and go for it. That sounds really good to me. I want to do that too. I also want to do something with myself so as not to regret in future. My problem is I don't know what it is I want to do. I don't have a strong driving force apart from not wanting to waste my time and youth. Which is why I thought I'd ask you what you would think if you were in my situation.

So please don't misunderstand. I wasn't passing judgement on you, I was asking your advice for me.

Yasuko Watanabe said...

Dear Jan,

Thank you for clarifying your comment and response.
Ah, I see. Sorry, I am goofy. Will try to explain more details in blog step by step....it is difficult, isn't it?

After that airline experience, I read a book called " What color is your parachute ? " it is a book to help finding your vocation. After reading that, I decided to go to film / TV / Content Business industry. At the moment, I am trying pursue following my instinct in the industry ,but I feel my interest now is the combination of these lifestyle and media including IT. Struggling to produce something.

Maybe it takes time , but I think if I follow my sensibility and feeling, eventually, all the experiences will be combined and it comes to something....

People around me have their current jobs or works, but still many people are wondering if it is OK to stick with it. Nice to hear this kind of personal comment, though, thank you again.

I think it is globally common issue.